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Have You Set Big Enough Goals?

Have you set big enough goals?I’ve had a pretty good rule of thumb my entire life: if you haven’t set goals big enough to scare the pants off of you just a wee bit, your goals are probably not big enough. In fact, if you aren’t just a pinch concerned about...
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Stop Keeping Score

I want you to stop keeping score.There are two types of people in the world: those who keep score, and those who don’t. I’m not a scorekeeper. Never have been. That doesn’t mean I’m not hella competitive. Trust me, if you’re on a rowing machine, treadmill, or spin bike next to...
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Have a Big Decision to Make? Might as Well Flip a Coin.

Have you ever been faced with an important decision, one so big, so hard, so overwhelming that you felt positively paralyzed by it? What did you do? How did you make the decision? Was it the right decision, or the wrong decision? And, how do you really know, anyway?Life doesn’t...
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Do You Feel Loved?

Do you feel loved? It's a big question, I know.But I've been feeling this question deeply as of late. Here's why:1. My eldest son is reviewing his college options, having gotten into (and been rejected from) a diversity of schools. Where should he go? Which should he choose? Which school...
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Life Lessons from a Drag Queen

What can you learn from a drag queen? As it turns out: a lot.Those of you who follow me on the socials know that I am a huge fan of RuPaul's Drag Race. I don't hide my freak flag about this; I prefer to fly it high. And, no, don't...
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On Fuckboys, Feelings, and Fruition

I was texting today with a friend of mine who is going for something big. It’s one of those crazy “bucket list, super elite, few people have walked in these shoes” type goals. And he’s waiting for the kingmaker in charge to give him a chance to show his mettle,...
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Are Your Critics Right About You?

Are your critics right about you?I had an interesting experience last week. And, I don't mean my happy sheet cake dance for my 50th birthday. (See what you are missing if you aren't following me on Instagram?)No, I did something even more uncomfortable than eating half of a sheet cake...
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This is 50

This is me.This is 50.This is unbridled enthusiasm running headlong into discomfort and doubt. ⁣This is bravado, bravery, and boldness questioning all the things at all the times. ⁣This is fierceness and femininity wrapped in a moxie-driven, awkwardly uncoordinated, lemon of a body. ⁣ This is a best-selling author and...
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Service is the Way

In 1992, I fell under the spell of a candidate and even more of an ideal I heard him state in an impassioned speech on a tiny black and white TV in a small strip mall in Gainesville, Florida. I dropped out of law school, and went to work to...
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The Best Gift I Was Ever Given

The best gift I was ever given didn't cost a dime, and it changed my life.When I was 17 years old I began to slow dance with an eating disorder. By the time I was 21, it had its lifeless clutches wrapped so tightly around my self worth that every...
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Goodbye is a Gift

I'm learning how to say goodbye.For someone who has so much, I wrote a lot about loss this year.I wrote about loss of identity in the first weeks of the pandemic — loss of my business, loss of my kids’ rites of passage, loss of all of our normalcy.I wrote...
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Set Goals that Matter (to You)

Goal setting is hard, but it doesn’t need to be.Once upon a time, long ago, likely before you were even conscious of what was happening, someone handed you a scorecard.And, on that scorecard there were a great many items: the right school, the right internship, the right job, the right...
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