I ran into Robin Roberts in the hallway last week before my latest Good Morning America appearance.
(Okay, look, I know that sentence is ridiculous. I recognize that. It makes me uncomfortable even to say it. But, we’re going to have to get through this together, because there is just no other way for me to tell you this story.)
As I was saying… I ran into Robin Roberts in the hallway last week before my latest Good Morning America appearance and I learned something fascinating about why she took an interest in me and has invited me back so many times. I’ve been turning it over in my head ever since, feeling weird about doing the “I know famous people thing” but also wanting to pass along this radically important lesson that I learned.
Let me set the stage: I’m at GMA, and it’s now my sixth appearance. I’m trying to become a regular, and I know the stakes are high for this particular appearance. The big deal producers are going to be watching, testing me. I’m nervous, and I’m also in full hair and makeup and a glam suit (which I wore like mother truckin’ armor to hide the fact that I am, as I said, armpit-dripping nervous). I’m there for GMA3, which is the third hour, and Robin is on the first two hours.
It’s now about ten minutes before they are going to come get me and bring me onto the set. I’m mic’d up and ready. Malcolm Gladwell is being interviewed first, then a piece about beating the heat, then me. (Yeah, yeah, Malcolm Gladwell, I don’t really know famous people; I poked my head into his open dressing room to say hi and tell him I was a big fan and he stayed sitting and smiled and said “oh! thank you!” and then stared at me until it was clear that he wasn’t going to offer up a selfie, awkward.)
And, I hear her. I hear Robin. She’s coming down the hall, making her exit, and I hear her thanking staff members for a great show.
So, I position myself — just so — at the doorway of my dressing room (nicer than Malcolm’s, ahem) and kind of just sort of weirdly… linger. I held my book, cover out-facing, just so she’d see it. She follows me on social — I know, I know! — and I thought she might maybe kind of recognize me if she squinted, but I figured that the book would cement the connection.
“Laura, it’s great to see you!”
SWOON.
Her: “Where was it that we met? It was Toronto, wasn’t it? We were both keynoting. We didn’t actually meet. I remember now, the emcee of the event gave me your book. You had written an inscription in it, and I remember that you did’t ask for anything… you just…”
Me: “…thanked you.”
Her: “You just thanked me, for showing up for people, for our community. And thank you so much for your comments you leave on my social all the time. That’s so special. I really appreciate you, and I love your books. And, you know what I remember? I remember that you didn’t even need to ask for anything. You were confident in your brilliance, and in your words, and you let your work do the talking. I read your book and knew we needed to have you on here. I’m glad you are here, I’m glad you are back. You belong here.”
DOUBLE SWOON.
So, what’s the lesson here?
Focus on the work. Focus on the quality. Focus on the delivery.
Let the work speak for itself, and lead with your brilliance.
Now, mind you, I didn’t intentionally do that. Never in a million billion years would it occur to me to even *ask* to be on Good Morning America. I didn’t ask for anything because what on earth would I have even asked for, right? All I did was gush, in writing, about what a shero of mine she has always been.
But, that’s how she interpreted it; confidence is quiet, and all that.
(Side note: I’m pretty sure that if we *did* meet in person that day, I would have totally been a huge dork and blown it completely.)
So, this week may find you full of doubt, or mired in frustration, or feeling like things aren’t moving fast enough, wonder what it all means, and here’s what I know to be true:
You matter. Your words matter. And your brilliance will shine through for the right people at the right time.
Of course, I’m not telling you to work in silence, in private, just hoping someone will notice. I’m just telling you to have a little more confidence in your work, raising your vibe from “I hope they’ll want me” to “they’ll be lucky to have me.” From there, it’s just a matter of getting people to notice with a few simple tricks:
- If you want someone to care for you, care for the people they care about. That separates you from the people who feel transactional and instantly deepens the relationship.
- Never praise in silence. Actively articulating what you respect and appreciate in them allows them to see themselves in a higher light, while also seeing you right there with them as a peer just for noticing.
- Be a pro. Want to know how I got the emcee to give Robin my book without even asking? Here’s the story.
Lastly, I do want to say that sometimes you do just have to ask, and there is no better person to teach you how to Ask for More than Alex Carter. (That’s the title of her book, btw, and I can tell you from first hand experience, her strategies work.) Go follow her on Instagram, and keep you eyes here for a new talk she’s got coming out on TED.com soon.
Have You Boomerang’ed Back Home? Have Your Kids?
By the way, in said Good Morning America appearance, I talked about why so many young people are moving back home, how we can avoid it, and how we can enjoy it, too. Watch here.
One of the things I mention is the Family Meeting, which is a great resources for families of all ages, and the most important meeting you don’t yet have on your calendar.
