A common refrain as we travel through Wonderhell is, “I’m too busy.”
I want to volunteer, but I’m too busy.
I want to workout, but I’m too busy.
I want to go back to school, but I’m too busy.
I want to be a better friend, but I’m too busy.
So, my question for you is… are you too busy? Are you really?
Or is this something that just doesn’t matter, isn’t the highest and best use of your time, or something you simply don’t care enough about to prioritize?
We have a habit of filling our plates with more than we can handle, sometimes because we are asked, sometimes because we derive identity and self-worth from the martyrdom of busyness, and sometimes just because everyone around us is doing the same thing. And then we make excuses about why we aren’t doing some of the other things.
We meet these moments by seeking out productivity hacks, upping our caffeine consumption, working more and sleeping less. The Toxic Positivity Army is out there cheering you on, promising that you can bend the space-time continuum and telling you, “You can do it all!”
But that’s horseshit.
Now, I’m not going to tell you about all the things I accomplish on a daily basis—all the balls I juggle constantly and with grace and poise. (Because I don’t.) I’m not going to give you that trite pep talk about how I do so much, so you can do the same. (Because I don’t, and you can’t.) Every single person who enters the I’m Busier Than You Cage Match of Death loses. (Especially if they win.) The only way out is to come face-to-face with the decision about what really matters to us most.
Here’s the hard truth: We all prioritize and, when we do, we all make time for our real goals. Whenever anyone tells me, I’m too busy, here’s what I really hear them say: It’s simply not that important to me.
Don’t have time to volunteer for that cause you love? It doesn’t matter to you that much.
Don’t have time to train for that marathon? You aren’t actually serious about it.
Don’t have time to go back to school? You haven’t really figured out what you’re going to do once you earn that degree.
Don’t have time to text someone back? You’re just not that into them.
Make all the excuses you want, but the truth is that when you find yourself running toward what you want instead of running away, you will miraculously find the time. The stress will melt away. Hyper focus will pave a path for you filled with control and certainty. You will see a clear vision of your life the way you’d like it to be. And you will make it happen.
Perhaps that is harsh… but maybe, just maybe, it is liberating.
Former professional triathlete Travis McKenzie calls these goals that you say you want but never actually prioritize your “look-good goals”—you know, the ones that look good on the vision board, look good to other people, look good on social media. But were those goals really important to you? Sure, they’re fashionable, they’re popular, they’re pretty, but you don’t really care about them.
In pretending to pursue all of these goals, you likely will achieve none. This is your chance to be honest with yourself about what is and isn’t holding you back. And if you don’t seem to ever make time for that goal? That just frees you up for other things that matter to you more.
