Have You Set Big Enough Goals?

Have you set big enough goals?

I’ve had a pretty good rule of thumb my entire life: if you haven’t set goals big enough to scare the pants off of you just a wee bit, your goals are probably not big enough. In fact, if you aren’t just a pinch concerned about how you are going to manage your hairy, scary, overwhelming goal, it’s not a goal, it’s just a task. (Tweet this.)

So what is the difference? A goal is something in the far future, something that demands work, investment, failure, correction. It can be an organizing principle, a thing bigger than you, a dream that is possible but not for certain probable. A task is something to check off your list today, something small, something manageable, something ho-hum. Set a goal, and then task yourself to figure out how to achieve it.

This week I set myself a goal. Well, to be fair, I set this goal back in May. But I announced it to the world — hello, accountability strategy! — this week once I had checked off the early tasks that ensured that this goals was within my grasp, maybe, possibly, sort of… as long as I put in the work. I waited until I knew it was more hairy than hare-brained.

And, because no accountability strategy is complete without pulling in as many co-conspirators as possible — you! — I’m going to announce it here, too:

I will be running the 125th Boston Marathon in October.

To explain why this is somewhat nutty, I need to give you a little backstory.

I ran Boston in 2012. It was 92 degrees on Marathon Monday, and I was sad. All the work I’d put in to run a sub-four hour marathon was for naught. Just surviving the day was the goal once Mother Nature stepped in. By the finish line, I didn’t even know my own name. And I swore I’d never do it again.

To salve my self-pity, a friend signed me up for the Chicago Marathon six months later, and we ran that. Of course, one doesn’t go from never running a mile in her life to running two marathons in a year without some sort of injury, so I hobbled across the Chicago Marathon finish line at 4:09:57. To be honest, at a certain point in the race, when I couldn’t feel my left foot any longer, I decided that the different between 3:59:59 and 4:00:01 was ten years, and I just wanted to hang on to 4-oh-something. And I swore I’d never do it again.

In 2013, I was on the Boston Marathon course, running friend after friend up the hell that is Heartbreak Hill, over and over and over. I probably ran 20 miles myself that day just in companionship miles. And then the bombs exploded. Minutes turned into hours turned into what felts like days until we located our friends and loved ones. And still I swore I’d never do it again.

But I couldn’t not. I needed to be part of the coming back of the community so hurt by the senseless violence. So I ran in 2014. Riddled with injuries and back pain so badly that I could barely finish, I just decided to enjoy the day… my last ever marathon. I kissed babies. I hugged friends. I was the Mayor of Marathon Town. I didn’t need to swear, I already knew I’d never do it again.

And then something changed: me.

I got sick. Earlier this year I fell victim to an exceptionally rare autoimmune disease that affects only 800 people in the whole of the United States. My skin erupted in lesions, I was aflame from scalp to toenail, I ballooned 15 pounds in four weeks. I stopped sleeping, I couldn’t use my fingers, I sank into depression such like I’d never experienced before. It was a mystery to the medical establishment; suddenly I was “the interesting patient.”

You never want to be the interesting patient.

But, huzzah! After about two months of agony, 30 blood tests, a chest X-ray, three biopsies and twelve stitches, we had our answer and I began an experimental, off-label treatment plan of a series of biologic intravenous infusion chemotherapies. It’s not as fun as it sounds, I promise.

Last week, whilst hooked up to my trusty IV, I made it official and signed up for the Boston Marathon. Truly, everything you ever needed to know about me might be summed up in that last sentence.

How do I know that this is the right-sized big enough goal?

Because this goal scares the crap out of me? Yes. But more than that: it organized my mind, my body, and my emotions to think about something bigger than me. I can’t screw around and expect to make it to the start line uninjured or the finish line unscathed. I have to make a plan, follow a plan, revise a plan, follow a plan, lather, rinse, repeat.

Your mileage may vary — literally — but for me, having something at the end of the road that is going to kick my ass if I don’t respect it sure helps me get out of my own skin — sadly, not literally — and get focused on where I’m going.

I’m a pretty slow runner. There is no way that I could qualify for Boston with a previous marathon finish time. I run for charity. So I picked a charity that mattered to me.

In 2012, I ran that first marathon as part of a mid-life crisis where I discover that I was not too old, and it was not too late. I could do more. I could do hard things. And I could do what I thought was previously unavailable to me.

The Boston Athletic Association (BAA) did this for me. And they do this for so many others, across the nation, across the world, across race, gender, socioeconomic status, abilities, and access. The BAA makes running available to all. And I could think of no better nonprofit to support in my quest to re-find myself this year than one which helps so many others to do the same thing. (By the way, if you’d like to support my run, please visit my fundraising page.)

How do you set big enough goals, and actually follow through?

Enough about me. Let’s talk about how YOU set big enough goals… and how you keep them. (Tweet this plan!)

1. Pick Something that Scares You Just a Little. It doesn’t have to be terrifying, it just has to feel slightly out of reach. That might be running a marathon; it might be running a 5K. That might be launching your own business; it might be just starting a smaller side hustle. What matters is that it matters… to you.

2. Find an Accountability Buddy. Here’s a statement that shocks most people: I am lazy. In fact, I’m incredibly lazy. But I am the laziest fit person you’ll ever meet because despite my laziness, I still do the work. I just need someone to drag my ass out there to do it. That’s where accountability buddies come in to play. Find someone who shares your goal — and talk them into sharing yours — and you’ll have someone that you can’t let down. Personally, I’ll break a promise to myself every day of the week, but I’ll never break a promise to my buddy.

3. Remember Your Why. Runners who run marathons for charity actual finish — despite being less experienced and less fit, on average than those who qualify — at a greater percentage than non-charity runners. Why? Because they know their why. They are running for something more than themselves. It’s why I completed 2014, because despite being hurt, I got to say hello to hundreds of people who supported me in their pursuit. They were my why, and the charity they supported through me was my why. And that gave me extra fuel to keep going when things got dark. If you remember why you are doing what you are doing, you will have no choice but to do it, and do it as well as you can.

And, if you need an accountability buddy, pick something that scares you, and tag me on social media @heyLGO and I’ll check in on you and keep you on track.

Why? Because you are my why.