In 2013, I read Lean In. I wanted to love it. I knew I was supposed to love it.

But I didn’t.

My issue with Lean In wasn’t the enormous amounts of privilege that Sheryl Sandberg used to achieve success. Hell, I did the same thing, albeit with a few less zeroes on my paycheck. But, I’d gotten to the top using the same playbook as Sheryl: say yes to all the opportunities, lean in to my career, be all things to all people, and do it early enough in my career that the dividends would pay off for decades to come.

I got to the top. I had that kind of success. But it didn’t make me happy.

My issue was not how Sheryl Sandberg achieved success. It was how she defined success.

You see, this one, myopic, unflinching definition of success limits us. And it’s not just women who are limited by this singular definition of success. We are all limited, women and men both, to measuring our progress by how fast and how high we climb. We are limited by the imaginations and burdens of others. We are limited by their opinions about who we are and where we belong. We are so limited by checking off the boxes of other people’s versions of success that we forget to determine our own. And in these limits, we lose ourselves.

So, let’s figure out what really matters to us… and lean into that, instead.


I want you to find your calling by figuring out what really matters to you.  Start by downloading a gorgeous workbook with Four Ways to Find Your Calling.  It’s free when you sign up for my newsletter on my website. It’s the best first step to living your limitless life.