Life Lessons from a Drag Queen
What can you learn from a drag queen? As it turns out: a lot.
Those of you who follow me on the socials know that I am a huge fan of RuPaul's Drag Race. I don't hide my freak flag about this; I prefer to fly it high. And, no, don't come for me with your "reality television will melt your brain" lectures. This ain't no Desperate Housewives cliche type invented drama. It's the real deal.
Now, I know what you are thinking: "Really, LGO? I come to you for inspiration, for motivation, for a kick in the ass from time to time, and you are bringing me drag queens?!?"
But, bear with me for a moment, because the experience of being a drag queen is something that I need you to understand, for it is part and parcel of how you become limitless... and it might seem a little more familiar than you think.
We see success as a goal, as an end result. But, that’s a “finite destination” mentality. What happens when you realize that your original idea of what you could achieve was merely a small step, a tiny pit stop, a sweet little waypoint along the way to a bigger, better, more limitless version of you? (Tweet this.)
Spoiler alert: you become that bigger, better, more limitless you.
I saw this phenomenon first-hand during a 20-year career as an executive recruiter, interviewing thousands of leaders at these trajectory-defining moments of career transition.
My job in recruiting had me assisting organizations large and small in the search for c-suite talent. From time to time, a candidate for the job was an internal one, someone currently employed in the organization but in a lower-level role. I can tell you with absolute certainty that internal candidates who didn’t get the bigger job always eventually left, not because they were unhappy with the results of the search — although, for some, of course that was the case — but because the very process of interviewing for the bigger job meant that they literally had to, even for just a moment, wear the clothes of that role, speak in the voice of that role, imagine the scenarios of life in that role, and once they did, they couldn’t unsee part of themselves this way.
Drag Queen
This is what drag queens do every night.
They put on the clothes (and the makeup and the wigs and the platform, thigh-high, stiletto boots, yes, gawd!), and they put on a character. They invent a personality, a voice, a laugh, a charm, a wisdom of someone else entirely... not so much different than what we do when we strive to become something we currently are not.
They become that version of themselves, just as we become that version of ourselves.
Each time we imagine the next level success, even before we achieve it but while we are just internal candidates auditioning for the next promotion, we see a version of ourselves that we never knew existed, a potential that we never thought real, a promise of what we can become and who we can embody…. If only we allow ourselves to play there in that uncomfortable and uncertain place for a while. There is the “you” before this realization, and the “you” after this realization.
And, like these internal candidates, you cannot unsee this new you.
Accepting success as a finite destination would mean there is also finite limit to your growth. I think you are better than that. No, I know you are better than that. And whether your ambition is spoken out loud, still whispered, or just in curly script in your brain, the path to achieve it runs straight through your own personal drag show.
RuPaul likes to say that "We are all born naked, and the rest is drag."
I'd agree. And I think you might now, too.
By the way, if you want to read more about how to become the most limitless version of you, pick up my book Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best Life.
